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Our Father's Heart for Family & Ministry (conclusion)

Divine Order found in a Godly Home 

Col 3:18-23 KJV

(18)  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 

Paul states to the Colossians that wives are to subject themselves to their own husbands. This is right and a just duty in the Lord. 

(19)  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. 

Husbands are to cover their wives with love and not be bitter against them, again, dwelling with them according to knowledge and understanding. 

(20)  Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

(21)  Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

(22)  Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:

(23)  And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; 

Children are to obey their parents in all things. This is pleasing to the Lord. Father’s/husbands should not provoke their children. Servants are to obey their masters in all things in the fear of the Lord. Whatever we do should be done as unto the Lord our God and not as unto men. 

Notice, it all begins with the covenantal relationship between husband and wife, trickling down to the children, and even addresses relationships outside the family, such as servant/masters – which today is akin to employees/employers. 

Paul repeats these teachings to the Ephesians.  

Eph 5:21-33 KJV

(21)  Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

(22)  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

(23)  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

(24)  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

 I fail to understand why many think Paul was a male chauvinist.  

(25)  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

(26)  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

(27)  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

(28)  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

(29)  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

(30)  For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

(31)  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

(32)  This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

(33)  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. 

The counsel of the Lord is consistent even to the leaders and overseers in His Church. 

1Pe 5:1-5 KJV

(1)  The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed:

(2)  Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind;

(3)  Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.

(4)  And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.

(5)  Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. 

Headship/Authority is found in all areas of our life. Submission to the one above who covers/oversees is consistently taught in the scriputres from within the home (in marriage and in family), to within the Church (amongst the brethren) to outside the Church (employment). 

How can the Lord bring a restitution of all things, if he doesn’t restore what was originally established in the garden of Eden between the husband and his wife?  

1 Corinthians chapter 11 has been so misunderstood because we have failed to rightly divide the Word based on the Word of God. This chapter is neither about wearing a clothing garment as a covering over the head of the woman, nor is it about women not ever cutting their hair. I submit to you, based on all the aforementioned scriptures, discerning that the teachings of the apostles is consistently applied in letter after letter, that husband/man and wife/woman application should be applied here as well. 

1Co 11:3-16 KJV

(3)  But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 

(8)  For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.

(9)  Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

(10)  For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.           

(11)  Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

(12)  For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. 

These verses doesn’t speak of one gender (the husband) being more important than the other (the wife). These verses speak of the interdependency of the wife and the husband.  

Gen 2:18  And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 

When the divine order of headship is established in the home, starting with the marriage, and branching out to the family, then we can talk about the standards for offices in the church. 

1Ti 3:1-15 KJV

(1)  This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

(2)  A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

(3)  Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

(4)  One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

(5)  (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

(6)  Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

(7)  Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. 

(8)  Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;

(9)  Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.

(10)  And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.

(11)  Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.

(12)  Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

(13)  For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.

(14)  These things write I unto thee, hoping to come unto thee shortly:

(15)  But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth. 

There is much to be said of the examples set forth in the Old Covenant regarding the roles and functions of man and woman, husband and wives, when ministering before the Lord. Yet, there is, as well there should be, a unique anointing for each gender to fulfill their place in the Kingdom of God. 

For instance, a father has the anointing to be a father, not a mother. A mother has the anointing to be a mother, not a father. Neither should be jealous of the others role… neither should be jealous of the others function… and neither should be jealous of the others anointing. As each individual fulfills their calling and purpose, respecting each other for the position that God has placed them in, whether it be a public or private placement, we then come into the unity of the body being at one with the Head. He places everyone in the Body as He sees fit.   

The world has distorted the roles of mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, and God’s purpose for the family. Father’s/husbands have left the home for money and women and the like. Mother’s have left the home for survival… but many have also left for ambition and career. 

Individually, and collectively, we have to find out our divine calling and purpose in the body of Christ. I believe there is great harm done in the body when the toes of the foot try to act like the fingers of the hand, or vice-versa. When this happens, naturally speaking, it looks utterly unnatural and foolish. Spiritually, even more so.  

In God's eyes, it is a perversion for it does not fulfill the original intention of the Lord. The toes of the body simply cannot do or do as efficiently what the hand was created to do. Even though it may try… even though it may even find some success with practice, in the end, the toes of foot will never be as proficient as the fingers of the hand because it was not their original intent/function. They were not made to do such things. 

In a natural body, when a body part starts trying to do something it was not created to do, you usually have problems (i.e. tumor – uncontrolled replication of cells, yet cells are supposed to replicate). 

We must recognize the importance of unity in the body of Christ – coming together on what sayeth the Lord. Male/Female, husbands/wives, brothers/sisters - We are both here to jointly fulfill the will of God.   

We note in the Scriptures that man was created first – Adam was given a specific charge even BEFORE his helper came along – the woman was brought after to help Adam in his charge, fulfilling the decree of the Lord together. They both were created in His image and both had charge to take dominion. So, there should be no competition for leadership.  

1Co 12:22-25

(22)  Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:

(23)  And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.

(24)  For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:

(25)  That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. 

Bottom line is that we need to listen to our Creator, Jesus. He knows best what we are supposed to be doing. He is the one who created us. He developed us and placed us where we need to be in the Body with a purpose. Our purpose can be found in the Word of God. 

  • According to the Scriptures, what has God commended as an example of Godly women?

  • What was their calling and function within the body of Christ?

  • Do we have texts that accurately describe a Godly woman’s ministry, role, and function?

  • Do we have scriptures that specifically instruct women on what they should be doing and how they should be doing it, as we see direct instructions given to men?

  • Are there instructions given to or for married women, single women, and widowed women?

  • Does the Lord paint us a picture of expectation for men and women in the home and in the ministry of the kingdom? 

Elder women have a role to teach the younger women regarding the keeping of their home, their behavior in regards to their relationship with their husbands and children. Elder women should be teaching the younger women to be sober (sound mind), love, serve and respect their husbands, love their children (raise, discipline and correct), discreet (teach to be self-controlled), teach to be chaste (clean and pure), keepers of the home (tending to the home, dealing with the “attitudes” of the children, watching over and taking care of household affairs), and obedient to their husbands – in public and private – AT ALL TIMES.  In all these things we glorify God – best way to shine light is to walk it out and teach the younger women to do the same.   

A godly woman is highlighted as having brought up children, exhibiting hospitality & service to the saints and to the sick, diligently following every good work – not idle, wandering from house to house, gossiping – giving no ground to the enemy (or others outside the faith who are watching).

Being a virtuous woman is tough, but not impossible; especially when you know it’s what the Lord wants you to be – and it pleases your husband whom you love.                     


Pro 12:4a  A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband:  

Prov. 31 woman. Line by line…

v. 10 – virtuous woman is priceless

v. 11 – husband trusts her because she walks in those things God has called her to – fear of the Lord is in her

v. 12 – she won’t uncover him or disrobe him

v. 13 – she is industrious, diligent

v. 14 – 15 – she has business savvy, “entrepreneurial”

v. 16 – she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty

v. 17 – depending on the Lord, praying, filled with joy of the Lord (which is her strength)

v. 20 – she is generous and giving

v. 21 – protects her family – watches and prays

v. 22 – she dresses in silk and purple (not like a rag), looks good!

v. 23 –mentioned in the midst of the qualities of a virtuous woman - that her husband is well known. Her qualities make her husband look good.

v. 26 – she is wise and kind

v. 27 - she works for her family – not sitting around talking on the phone or watching soap operas

v.28-30 – she is rewarded by her family with praise – woman who fears the Lord shall be praised 

Godly women/wives are skilled… save $... invests $... spends $ wisely to the good of her husband and they enhance the home, making it a better place to live. Man should be better off in life having a wife. She assists her husband by helping in the management of the children. The product of a Godly home is the raising of the next generation of Godly offspring. A virtuous woman is noble, rare and excellent, if she has decided to embrace her calling of keeping the home as her primary purpose and concern. 

The bible does not command a Godly woman, a wife, to have what we understand today as a career. She is commanded to manage the domain and welfare of the home. Much is permissible outside the home for the wife to do, as long as the needs of the home are sufficiently met. 

We must go from the Bible outwards in determining which way a man and woman should go. Family and responsibility at home comes before job and career. It is wise for woman to be well-rounded, educated, knowledgeable in many areas with specific expertise, but not at the expense of giving up being a Godly wife or Godly mother to get it. Wives/Mothers/Women - never compromise your divine calling for worldly success. Wisdom, declares that virtuous women are diligently working toward choosing a career that compliments their divine calling. 

Today, our world will never teach this of men or women, husbands or wives. Our world will never teach our children to be obedient to parents. So we must put aside the traditions of men and the philosophies of the world… we must repent… we must labor to abide in the doctrine of the apostles and prophets, of which Jesus Christ is the Chief Cornerstone… and hold fast to the Word of God.

© copyright 2015 Jesus M. Ruiz

Our Father's Heart for Family & Ministry - Jesus M. Ruiz
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